Immortal House Episode 1

Warning: two loud screams in Chapter "House Hunting makes a Vampire Hungry" starting at 21:08

In this first episode, Beloved Initiates are introduced to Laurence Roch, an accidental vampire of two centuries and a first time home buyer. He has a budget and can only look at houses at night. House hunting might be harder than he expects.   

Episode 1 CAST:
Ken Carlson stars as the vampire Laurence Roch.

Amy Riddle  performs as Sarah, the human realtor who isn't sure about her client with fangs. 

Stevie Rae Causey reprises her role as vampire, Norma. 

Hannah Duff performs as Betty, Laurence's human landlady.

Jun Hsu plays Bill, Laurence's second love.

Evan Witt reprises his role as Derrik (He also wrote the wonderful intro and outro music.)

Gretchen SB: Victim #1 and Norma's Dispatch

Nikki Burton: Bartender #1

 Rob Clifford: Lovely Human

Abby Masterson: Human with Dog.

Lydia Randall  Jennifer Brozek & Dennis Roberts add their voice talents and all actors were background in the bar.

Elizabeth Guizzetti as your narrator, Loretta.

Intro and Outro Music is written by Evan Witt and you can learn more about his music at www.wittynotes.com

Other background noises and music were licensed from Pond 5, StoryBlocks or made in house.
Background Music  Ludwig van Beethoven's  Sonata No. 8 In C Minor. 2. Pathetique / Emanuele Dentoni's Neo Baroque Overture and The Execution of the King / Gerardo Garcia Jr Water Drops
Frédéric François Chopin - Waltz ab Farewell No 1.
Vladyslav Krotov/Mood Mode Jazzy Retro Swing Groove

Chapters

• 0:00 Opening
• 1:13 Allow me to Introduce Laurence Roch
• 3:54 Saving For Centuries
• 6:57 House Hunting
• 9:27 Why am I always alone? I can't do this alone!
• 13:53 Intrusive Thoughts by Norma
• 18:20 House Hunting isn't as fun as TV makes it out to be
• 19:30 A Drink&Draw makes a great Alibi
• 21:08 House Hunting makes a Vampire Hungry
• 26:58 Some memories are dangerous
• 28:34 Word from Smile Forever Dental
• 29:58 Closing Credits

Transcript

VAMPIRES OF THE PAPER FLOWER CONSORTIUM: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: IMMORTAL HOUSE: EPISODE 1

LORETTA

Recording by Loretta Fabron Onfoy, current historian and librarian of the Paper Flower Consortium. 

Welcome back, Beloved Initiates and other listeners, tonight we shall listen to Part 1 of  Immortal House the nightmarish tale of vampires and real estate.  The story will be told in three parts, an episode per week. And if you wish to hear the whole story all at once, than you’re in luck, but you must wait for that treat until Halloween. 

Let me begin, by introducing you to Laurence Roch. Laurence is an accidental vampire of close to two centuries. 

While he is not a member of the Paper Flower Consortium, but he has deep connections with the coven and acquainted with several members. He has given us permission to tell this specific story though we shall be touching on his history through out the program. 

I can say Laurence was born Lorenzo DaRocco in Venice 1802. He left home at sixteen to seek his fortune. After six years as an indentured sailor, he came to America where he anglicized his name to fit in. After all, the young man was making his own way in the world, separating himself from his Venetian roots as well as his father at the time. He was quite excited to become an American.

But as I said, his vampirsm is accidental. Laurence is fairly sure he was infected during his crossing of the American Continent during the summer of 1824 on his way to Fort Vancouver where he worked as a clerk - that is a bookkeeper in today’s modern parlance - but he doesn’t exactly know how or when he defeated death. His best guess is he may have died by smoke inhalation during a house fire or succumbed shortly after to hypothermia in 1826. 

He would have been 24. 

One more thing, he has a strange aversion to the word “vampire” which in his mind is a negative word or too Hollywood. I shall not psychoanalyze. He uses his native Italian: Stegone for the masculine, or Strega for the feminine, or Stregoni for the plural or where the gender is unknown.  

Let us begin by peeking back to the winter months of 2018 when Laurence existed comfortably by painting book-cover artwork the old fashioned way and resided in a small basement apartment which he rented. 

On this specific day, he had stayed up late for human business hours and was attempting to garner the courage to make the first step and pick up his phone....

SCENE 1: LAURENCE’S BASEMENT

LAURENCE

I’ve been saving for centuries. It’s time. It’s time! But…what if there’s another Great Depression …or the real estate bubble bursts again? If I had been awake before the real-estate bubble popped last time, I might’ve invested…There’s a million tech companies in my backyard….and I wasted the opportunity....I should’ve invested...

(Angry at himself)

Invested! If I had been awake, I might’ve saved Rob. No but I had to sleep. 

Damn me. I can’t do this alone. 

But I always end up alone - except for the ghosts in my memories: Rob, Pascaline, Bill and Suzan. All dead now - except Pascaline and she’ll never leave her husband! 

LORETTA

In that moment of sorrow and doubt, seeing only what he lost, he accidentally sent out a cry for help within his bloodline...and though he does not know his progenitor or any other vampire within his bloodline, the Paper Flower Consortium’s very own clairvoyant-telepath heard him. And Norma with her knightly soul, cannot help but assist when someone calls. 

NORMA

Huh? Laurence?  Laurence, is that you?

LAURENCE

Norma? 

She’s not here. She’s just another memory....

NORMA

Laurence, whatever the problem is calm down and think. You can do it.

LAURENCE

I can do this. Other people, even other stregoni, buy homes. I need to be smarter this time and stay in budget. I’ll set autopayments in my own name so I’ll never miss a payment on my property taxes or insurance. Everything will be fine!

SOUND EFFECT: DIAL NUMBER (555-0108 - A SAFE FICTIONAL NUMBER) 

SOUND: PHONE RINGING

SARAH

Hello, Sarah Martin, speaking.

LAURENCE

(nervous)

Hi, Ms. Martin, I’m Laurence Roch. You helped my landlady’s niece buy a house. She gave me your number…I hoped you might help me.

SARAH

Certainly. What type of home are you looking for?

Sound Effect Paper and Pen

LAURENCE

I prefer a single-family residence with a basement but hope to keep it under $500,000. I’ve been saving a long time and would prefer if I didn’t need a mortgage. I, ah, work in the arts and would struggle to get a mortgage.

SARAH

At that price, we’ll be looking at older, smaller houses.

LAURENCE

That’s fine. It’s just me. I’d like to remain in city. I can stretch to 550 if need be and can deal with a fixer-upper… but I’ve one major ask. I suffer from intense polymorphic light eruptions and require viewing homes after sunset.

SARAH

There’s little inventory in-city. By inconveniencing homeowners, we might miss quality properties within your budget.

LAURENCE

The sun sets early this time of year...

I hope to find and close on a house quickly. 

(Sadly)

My husband passed and I was forced to move into an apartment…I’ve three months left on my lease.

SARAH

I’m sorry to hear about your husband.

LAURENCE

Thank you.

SOUND EFFECT: TRANSITION

LAURENCE

All I have to remember is Sarah Martin is not a meal, she is my Realtor!

SCENE 2: HOUSE HUNTING

SOUND EFFECT: PARKING BREAK, CAR DOORS

SARAH

Now this charming house was built in 1910.

LAURENCE

The listing called it a Craftsman, but where’s the porch? And the roof looks one rainstorm from collapse.

SARAH

The house is a hundred and ten years old, so we have to expect some problems. However, it’s within walking distance to the Hilltop area, the light rail station, and Jefferson Park.

Should we give it a chance or move on?

LAURENCE

(annoyed)

I like the location, but the house doesn’t do much for a first impression. And I like those trees. Good afternoon shade.

LORETTA

Laurence stepped closer to Sarah as he entered the home. He turned his head away as he smelled the tang of lingering sweat and the depth of her scented lotion and deodorant. He looked at her hair, softly glittering in the the dim light. He did not comment upon it as his upbringing would not allow it. 

SOUND EFFECT: HEARTBEAT

LORETTA

Sarah noted his fangs, but he wasn’t the strangest client she ever had. She briefly wondered if the fangs were the temporary kind that slipped over his teeth or the more permanent glued-on type.  And not knowing the danger, Sarah entered the house behind him then led Laurence through a small foyer.  

SARAH

This is your living room.

LAURENCE

I like the cove ceiling, but all the original molding is under a sloppy paint job.

SARAH

You can always strip it back or repaint it as you wish. Here’s the powder room on this floor. The main bathroom is probably upstairs between the two bedrooms. And this is your kitchen.

LAURENCE

Those appliances look straight out of the 50s.

SARAH

While this space could use some aesthetic upgrades, the layout looks quite usable.

LAURENCE

What’s that stain? Is that black mold? I shall need to look…

(Voice cracks)

at the basement.

SARAH

This must be so hard; are you okay to continue?

LAURENCE

Yes. Yes. Excuse me.

SARAH

Here’s a tissue. I’ll wait here while you look at the space. Take your time.

SOUND EFFECT: FOOTSTEPS MOVING DOWN STAIRS

LAURENCE sobs.

NOTE: LAURENCE’S SOBS WILL OVERLAY OVER THE FOLLOWING DIALOGUE. 

LAURENCE

Why did the smell of moldy wet concrete remind me of death? Rob, why’d you have to go? I’m no good at this. If I had only been awake…If  our relationship hadn’t isolated us. Someone would have checked. It’s my fault he’s dead. … Why am I always alone? I can’t do this alone!

NORMA

What? No, not you. Sorry... I hear Laurence -- 

Laurence, I’m always here for you. So is Derrik. Grandpa, we gotta help Laurence. 

DERRIK

Laurence won’t accept my help. 

NORMA

Sorry about brunch, but I gotta go. Laurence is crying blood and looking at houses! 

DERRIK

Okay, lamb, another time then. Give Laurence our condolences. 

NORMA

Come on, Laurence, snap out of it! Wipe your face! Your realtor will freak if she sees you like this. I’m coming! 

SOUND EFFECT: DOOR SLAM AND CAR IGNITION.

SOUND EFFECT: CLIMBING UP STAIRS.

LAURENCE

The floor joists look strong, but somewhere there’s a leak in the basement. Mold down there too.

SARAH

I’ve the name of a good moisture remediation service.

LAURENCE

Well, this is a definite maybe. I’m ready to see the next one.

Uh…Sorry about that.

SARAH

Don’t be... I’m sorry for your loss.

SOUND EFFECT: TRANSITION

SARAH

Now I know you weren’t sure about multifamily living, but after your response to the first house I want to show you what you can afford in a condo. I’ve sold in this building before. The HOA fees are quite reasonable. There’s a one bedroom on the ground floor for 360 and a two bed-room on the third floor for 525.

LAURENCE

My last condo didn’t go well. I tend to be most inspired at night and sleep all day - for work I mean. But I’m willing to look...

SOUND EFFECT: DOOR BEEP

SHUFFLING FEET TWO PEOPLE BUMPING INTO EACH OTHER

LAURENCE

Excuse me. Did I hurt you?

SARAH

No, of course not. Your hand was just …cold…through my jacket.

LAURENCE

Yes, sorry, a faulty cardiovascular system is an unfortunate symptom of my condition. Rob used to always say I need to wear gloves when it gets cold. I forgot...sorry.

SARAH

Of course… Now there’s a secured entry, one parking spot in the garage, and a possible rental of a storage room. The HOA fees cover water, sewer, garbage collection and maintenance of the property. The rules are fairly common. It’s a great location. A bus stop on the corner services several buses.

SOUND EFFECT UNLOCKING OF DOOR, DOOR OPENS

SARAH

This is a pretty new kitchen. All appliances stay.

LAURENCE

I love the cool way granite feels under my hand. There isn’t a lot of kitchen space, but I don’t really need a kitchen, just a place to wash my paintbrushes and put my espresso maker.

SARAH 

And this is the bedroom.

LAURENCE

(Nervous)

Woah, what a huge window.

SARAH

Yes, brings in a ton of natural light.

LAURENCE

Am I allowed to change the window coverings?

I was thinking something more like blackout curtains.

SARAH

I can double check the rule, but in general most rules are as long as it’s white from outside.

LAURENCE

I’m not sure a king bed will fit in here?

SARAH

That looks like a queen, but if you used one nightstand or a pair of smaller ones, a king would definitely fit. 

LAURENCE

 (interested)

Woah, this closet is huge almost nearly as wide as the bedroom… And no windows.

I like the layout. It’s quieter than I expected. A condo is certainly something to think about.

SOUND EFFECT: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES. 

SARAH

This next unit is a 2 bedroom....

SOUND EFFECT: DOG GROWLS AND YAPS.

HUMAN WITH DOG

Sorry. Come on, buddy, lets go.

SARAH

Sorry, we startled you.

(Thought)

Does the dog sense something?

LORETTA

However the dog wasn’t barking at Sarah. No, unlike their human counterparts, dogs aren’t tricked by hoodies and modern haircuts. They know what we are.

HUMAN WITH DOG

Come on, Buddy, COME ON!

SOUND EFFECT: DOG STILL SNARLING.

NORMA

(To Human with Dog)

Hi! What a sweet little dog, can I pet your puppy?

HUMAN WITH DOG

He got a bit scared back there so don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to be pet.

SOUND EFFECT: HAPPY BARK.

NORMA

You’re just the cutest! Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy!

HUMAN WITH DOG

I guess he did want to be pet. Thanks. 

LORETTA

As an aside, of course, dogs also know Norma is a vampire, but they also know she love dogs and would never hurt them or a good pet parent. Now back to the story. As a true telepath, Norma could see the state Laurence was in and knew he would not be pleased to see her. She found a good hiding place and sent a thought into Laurence’s mind:

NORMA

Too many dogs for you. You’ll be seen.

LAURENCE

How many pets do you think are in the building?

SARAH

Most buildings in Seattle are pretty pet-friendly.

LAURENCE

I didn’t grow up with dogs, and I’m afraid of them if I’m honest. But if dogs are allowed, cats are probably allowed too? I’ve been thinking of getting a cat, once I get settled.

SARAH

Yes. Cats are welcome... 

NORMA

(Direct. Speaking to Sarah’s mind.) 

Laurence is in mourning and didn’t he say he loves espresso? 

SARAH

I’m … I’m suddenly feeling a bit loopy. Want a latte or something? There’s a coffee place on the corner.

LAURENCE

Sure. I’ve a free drink coming, allow me to treat you.

SARAH

No, let me. You’re my client.

LAURENCE

Please, I insist. You’re doing all the driving and using much more gas than the cost of a coffee. I already ordered mine, what do you want?

SARAH

Alright, a grande latte please. Cow’s milk is fine.

LAURENCE

Hot?

SARAH

Yes.

LAURENCE

Got it!

NORMA

(Direct. Speaking to Sarah’s mind.) 

Laurence is certainly a character.

SARAH

What’s wrong with me? Some people aren’t dog people! Which is weird, but I’ve still found them homes. The dogs just sensed Laurence’s fear and freaked. Maybe I did too. Stupid fake fangs.

(Fear giggles.)

If Laurence gets off pretending to be a vampire in a goofy hoodie, it’s no concern of mine.

LAURENCE

Here you go. I love coffee places with apps; it makes my peppermint mocha fix super convenient.

SOUND EFFECT: CAR NOISE

SOUND EFFECT: TEXT NOTIFICATIONS

DISPATCH

Dispatch: New Ticket. Pier 91: Hit 1 for on the way. 

Hit 2 to send a message and give a tracking update. 

NORMA 

Damn, beached mermaid over by the cruise ships. Gotta call it a night. Hopefully Laurence doesn’t do anything else dumb. 

LORETTA

But before Norma left, she sent one more message to Sarah’s mind to encourage further disbelief  in vampires.

NORMA 

(Direct. Speaking to Sarah’s mind.) 

He’s drinking a peppermint mocha.

SOUND EFFECT: CAR

SARAH 

(Thought)

If he was a vampire, he couldn’t drink that. No. Vampires don’t drink peppermint mochas because vampires don’t exist.

LAURENCE

(Nervous, shyly)

I really love the Christmas - I mean holiday- menus, but the peppermint mochas are my favorite year-round option. Sorry. I love Christmas—especially American Christmas—and sometimes forget not everyone celebrates. Sorry.

SARAH

No need to apologize. My kids are huge fans of Christmas.

LAURENCE

It’s different in Venice. That’s where I grew up.

SARAH

Christmas or espresso?

LAURENCE

Both...Actually pretty much everything....

SARAH

(thought)

Silly fake fangs, a fear of dogs. Well, he didn’t grow up an American, no wonder he feels off. This must be simple cultural confusion! Why did I let my imagination get the best of me? 

LAURENCE

Wow, this street is charming.

SARAH

This is a planned community, but a very old one. There’s a small HOA fee of $40 a month that pays for the shared driveways and sidewalks.

LAURENCE

What a cute roof line! And the garden is adorable. It looks like a storybook cottage.  The listing described the cottage perfectly. 

SARAH

This house is over 100 years old, but the listing mentions a modern kitchen and two bathrooms so it’s been through at least one renovation.

SOUND EFFECT: DOOR OPEN

LAURENCE

Oh...This floorplan is simply a letdown. And the kitchen is smaller than the one in the condo. What’s upstairs?

SARAH

I believe the converted attic space is now the Primary Suite.

LAURENCE

From the outside, it looks picture perfect, but inside, I don’t know it seems like a different house if that makes sense… I think the renovation didn’t go well.

SARAH

I know you’re willing to do some repairs, but that ceiling concerns me as does the floor we’re standing on. Consider what repairs you can handle and which you can’t.

LAURENCE

What’s next?

SCENE 3: COMING IN/GOING OUT

SOUND EFFECT CAR/TRANSITION

LORETTA

Though Laurence and Sarah sought homes throughout the city, Laurence was disappointed as Sarah dropped him off at his rented basement apartment, but he was gladdened by the presence of his elderly landlady, Betty, on the front porch. 

BETTY

(Wheezing moan deep within her lungs.)

Hi Larry. Any luck?

LAURENCE

House hunting isn’t as fun as TV makes it out to be. Nothing spoke to me yet. The best house I saw was the first house I saw. I looked at some condos, but I’m not sure ...about the noise.

BETTY

Finding a home takes time. Need a hug? 

LAURENCE

Yeah.

BETTY

Boy, you’re freezing! It’s still too cold for only a hoodie. Coming in or going out?

LAURENCE

Only to change. There’s a Drink and Draw in the ID.

BETTY

Good. Stay busy. When Jon died, only by staying busy did I function at all. You look too pale. Eating enough?

LAURENCE

The bar has tacos.

BETTY

Good … I suppose you’ll be walking. Some fresh air and exercise will put life back into your cheeks and get your creative juices flowing.

LAURENCE

I’m sure it will.

BETTY

But if you’ve too much to drink, don’t be afraid to call. I’ll come get you. You might be mugged, if you’re thinking poorly....

And remember to put on a jacket!

LAURENCE

Yes Ma’am.

(thought)

I wonder if Betty would hug me if she knew my true nature.

Okay, grab a jacket, and sketch book, charcoal, wallet, keys, phone,...

SOUND EFFECT: BAR NOISE

BARTENDER

Your usual Mad Mint Mocha?

LAURENCE

Yes, please.

LAURENCE

Hi. Nice to see you.

ENSEMBLE

(Choose one and speak over each other)

Hi / Hey Larry / Nice to see ya.

LAURENCE

Hi, I’m Larry. I’d like to draw you if that is okay, but I don’t want to stare and disrupt your art.

LOVELY HUMAN

Is that a line?

LAURENCE

No, I love figure drawing. I drew the bartender last week.

And that’s my landlady.  See?

LOVELY HUMAN

Wow, you really have talent. 

LAURENCE

I just have had a lot of time to practice.

LOVELY HUMAN

You can draw me if you’d like.

(Nervous chuckle)

If I can I draw you?

LAURENCE

Of course.

LOVELY HUMAN

I apologize if it doesn’t turn out. I’m a beginner.

LAURENCE

Everyone starts somewhere. I was fortunate to have a mother who encouraged such endeavors.

LOVELY HUMAN

Are you close to your mother?

LAURENCE

I was. She died when I was sixteen.

LOVELY HUMAN

I’m sorry.

SOUND EFFECT: HEARTBEAT START SOFTLY AND SLOWLY RISE UNTIL LAURENCE LEAVES BAR.

LAURENCE

Are you close to your family?

LOVELY HUMAN 

I’d like to be closer. I came for the tech industry like nearly everyone. 

The days fly by so fast I forget to call until it’s too late.

LAURENCE

I finished my drawing.

LOVELY HUMAN

What? That’s so fast. Amazing.

LAURENCE

Sorry, I must go. Here keep it. Send it to your mom.

SOUND EFFECT: PAPER RIPPED OFF A NOTEBOOK. 

LAURENCE 

See ya.

SOUND EFFECT: HEARTBEATS SOFTEN, BUT ARE TAKEN OVER BY IN-CITY 

LORETTA

Now this may surprise you, but even as late as 2018, Laurence still hunted. 

He sniffed the air, seeking the fragrance of the ill and dying. Like the haunted thing he is, he climbed a wall and slid into an unlocked window.

VICTIM #1 - MUFFLED SCREAM

LAURENCE

Don’t worry. Your death will be easier than the one you know that’s coming.

VICTIM #1

(Coughing)

I have a cross!

LAURENCE

It’s a lovely cross. May God walk with you to your reward...are your affairs in order?

VICTIM #1

What?

LAURENCE

Are your affairs in order? I offer an easy death by my fangs, or I’ll go and you can die in a few months by your illness. 

With your condition, your death will most likely be reported as a suicide, but He knows you are my victim. You’ve suffered your malady long enough.

VICTIM #1

(Gasping and coughing.)

Can you turn me? Make me young again, vampire.

LAURENCE

Even if I knew how to change you, which I do not, you’d still be old and dying. 

VICTIM #1

Will you at least put a spell on me – like Antonio Ban--

LAURENCE

(Sighs, then speak firmly.)

No. 

I’m just some guy, not Dracula. 

But you’ll die with little pain if you relax and let death take you.

VICTIM #1

Okay

SOUND EFFECT: SUCKING

LAURENCE

Just relax. I met a pretty human tonight, but I don’t know if I will ever love again. I’m still in mourning from my last love. How can I ever trust a person again with the knowledge that I was born in 1802?

VICTIM #1

Why trust me?

LAURENCE

Because you will be dead before I leave.

LORETTA

Since Laurence had not eaten all day and was exhausted from house hunting, he drank deeply, but leisurely, speaking in between sips and stroking his victims scalp.

LAURENCE

Nights like these, I miss my family. My mom, my younger sister and my first wife, Suzan. God I miss Suzan. 

VICTIM #1 GROANS

LAURENCE

We married at Fort Vancouver. Suzan could hunt as if she was the walking aspect of Diana herself.

VICTIM #1

(interested)

Hunt people?

LAURENCE

No - rabbit, deer, or salmon she had caught and prepared. 

I was twenty-two when we married, she was seventeen. I didn’t want to marry, but I kept waking up at night and wandering....bothering the other bachelors. 

VICTIM #1 

Seducing them? Drinking their blood?

LAURENCE

What? No! They just thought I was a sleepwalker. We didn’t have any unions or HIPPA protections back then. Since there was no real cure for me, my boss told me to hire some men to build me a cabin and become a family man or else lose my job. After all, at least then the other clerks could sleep. 

My boss’s wife introduced me to Suzan. She was a respectable girl, but an orphan, or her father abandoned her...That happened a lot at the fort to the children of trappers after men finished their contracts. My boss’s wife told Suzan if she married me she would get a gentleman’s rations, so we married. 

SOUND EFFECT: SUCKING

VICTIM #1

When does this story get good? 

LAURENCE

Get good? Though we married for worldly reasons, we were kind to each other. I loved her and miss her deeply.   

VICTIM #1

When do you start acting like a vampire?

LAURENCE

Very well. I was allowing you to drift off with slow but steady blood loss, but there are other ways...more painful....but faster...

VICTIM #1 screams

SCENE 4: AFTER THE HUNT

SOUND EFFECT STREET NOISES

LAURENCE

Betty will die, just like Suzan and Rob died. What happens if she dies before I find a home? What if I’m sleeping when she dies and officials find me in the basement? After Rob died, if I hadn’t woken, my resting place might’ve been discovered. Why did I...

NORMA

Hold up, Carlos, it’s Laurence...he’s calling again.

But you woke up…. Keep moving...follow your dreams...you can do it!

LAURENCE

Suzan would say I can do it. But she doesn’t understand this world.  

I might’ve been burned as they carried my corpse into the sunlight. Or worse, I might not have been discovered. They would have bulldozed me deep into the earth. I would have awoken, trapped. Buried under a parking lot; unable to scratch my way out; screaming in never-ending thirst.

NORMA

You aren’t trapped, but you gotta keep moving forward. Chill out.

LAURENCE

Suzan’s right. I can do it. 

NORMA

Yeah, I think he’s good for tonight. Let’s get this mermaid home.

VOICE TRAILS OFF

LAURENCE

I escaped. I’m fine. Betty is alive. All life is finite—except I presume a stregone—yet, we too can die. I want to remember every inch of Rob’s face, but…

I need Bill’s luck and animalistic qualities. I am hunting after all. Maybe my victim’s right, I need to be as I was with Bill. 

LORETTA

And when Laurence arrived at home, he opened one of the four jars of earth which he kept close to his bed.  To Laurence this jar of earth symbolized the first part of the twentieth century - years which were happy, exciting, and terrible. They also held the memories of his second love. 

SOUND EFFECT: LAURENCE’S INHALATION

LORETTA

He inhaled the loamy scent deeply and was enveloped by the presence of a 41 year old man, with just a touch of gray in his curly dark hair. A man who lived as very few did, even after he transformed into a vampire and who died at least twice: William Caruso informally known as Bill. 

BILL

What’s our prey?

LAURENCE

Why hello to you too, Bill. 

LORETTA

Laurence pressed his fingers into the soft earth and scooped out a handful to put in a ziplock bag so he might carry it in his pocket. William’s presence became overwhelming.  Laurence could remember every detail of him: the sparkle of his white teeth, his abundant curls which he tamed with menthol hair-cream, his favored tobacco, the laundry soap that the laundry service used.  And in his mouth Laurence tasted the sweat which lingered on the skin and of course the taste of William’s blood. 

BILL

Our prey?

LAURENCE

A house.

BILL 

(disappointed)

Would you not rather have a lovely young man whose face I could tear off?

LAURENCE

That’s not who I am anymore.

BILL

(annoyed)

Fill me with daylight now.

SCENE: A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

LORETTA

Well that’s where we will end tonight.  Remember, my beloved initiates, that some people, even the memories of them, are dangerous. Thus Laurence drew Norma, and the coven, deeper to his own misery but more on that next time. Lets have a word from our sponsor: Smile Forever Dental!

Vampires, your teeth may be eternal, but your dental work is not. Without proper maintenance cracked fillings and crowns can cause centuries of pain, Dr. Scott Hanson uses state of the art technology to match your old dental work and restore it like new. And if you are missing teeth due to injury or medieval dentistry - fear not, Dr. Scott Hanson, can color match your existing teeth to give you the confidence to smile throughout the centuries. Remember to keep you fangs pearly white with regular brushing and flossing and twice-yearly cleanings from Smile Forever Dental.

While normally, this would be time for questions, we will be saving all questions till the end of the third episode so good night and sleep the sleep of the dead.

So future and current vampires when you seek a home in Seattle, look at the Paper Flower Consortium.  

SCENE: CREDITS

LORETTA

While normally, this would be time for questions, we will be saving all questions till the end of the third episode so good night and sleep the sleep of the dead.

The vampires of the Paper Flower Consortium and the novella Immortal House were written by Elizabeth Guizzetti. The novella was adapted for the stage in 2022 and readapted for podcasts in 2024. If you enjoyed this episode and want more dramatized episodes let us know by liking the episode or leaving a review- if you have a question for Loretta, let us know that too. You can follow the Patreon of the Paper Flower Consortium for free. Paid subscriptions get on air-thank yous, digital coloring sheets and early access. 

Tonights marvelous voice talents include Ken Carlson as Laurence, 

Amy Riddle as Sarah the Realtor, 

Stevie Rae Causey as Norma, 

Evan Witt as Derrik

Hannah Duff as Betty, 

Abby Masterson as Human with Dog

Rob Clifford as Lovely Human 

Nikki Burton as the Bartender 

Gretchen SB as Victim #1 

Jun Shu as Bill 

Barking Dog was Walnut

and Elizabeth Guizzetti as Loretta.

Additional background voices from Dennis Roberts, Lydia Randal, and Jennifer Brozek. 

Sound effects are created in-house or purchased from Pond 5, Story Blocks. The amazing intro and outro music was written by Evan Witt and you can learn about his music at www.wittynotes.com

SOUND EFFECT: OUTRO MUSIC

LORETTA

Thank you for listening.